give me a cigarette and ten days in bed with you

by lonely carp

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released February 5, 2014

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lonely carp Coventry, UK

silly english boy likes to play the piano

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Track Name: FAO: eighteen year old me
you've got shorter hair than me
you find it so hard to believe
in anything extra ordinary
what a sad little life you lead

i waved goodbye to you the day you nearly died
i said good riddance but i must admit i cried
you're probably still in that room somewhere
here's your sign that someone out there really cares

because you made me who i am
your silly poems about a lion wearing skin of lamb
the way you cared so much about it all
i guess we're not that different i'm just a little more tall


i don't play video games as much as my house mate
but it's you it's you it's all for you
all the drugs i do
i tell you all the time hell is a place on earth but you knew
that
didn't you


i still think about you sometimes
well no i'm lying cus you're always on my mind
i wish i could travel back in time
and let you know things are alright
Track Name: moon princess
moon princess u lookin
so fine tonight
i'm alright
i've been sleeping all day
just to bathe in
ur light
u my girl
u my world
if i could i'd live on u
for the rest of my life
moon princess
it's just u, my best
and me, my worst
getting undressed
you're watching
waiting
you're patient
and when the day is done
you'll always
come back again
Track Name: kitchen counter bottom
give me a cigarette and ten days in bed with you
until i'm at least slightly emotionally stable
(let's not pretend i ever will be)
give me the lighter, the good one, the green one
pick me up and make me higher than i ever will be

even if we lose touch and never speak to each other again
i'll think about you every now and then
and go
"wow… yeah… *sigh*"

you said not now
but maybe

we'll be

give me a cigarette and ten days in bed with you
until i'm at least slightly emotionally stable
lets not pretend i ever will be
let's not pretend
we
ever will be
Track Name: hamlet (too much)
you’ve built a hamlet inside my skull

my work doesn’t get done for you

you’ve filled my teeth with wool

each house filled with families we might make

but every door is blue

are we to be or not to be

i’ve had enough of occupying space between

fuck you

just fuck me (x3)

i’m skipping cheerios i’m skipping lunch

my intestines ache for you

and this is much

too much

too much

drugs sugar food sleep

crying alone in my room for a week

drugs sugar rinse repeat

get my text? i’ll get the bleach

i’m aching breaking losing touch

this is much

too much

too much

drugs sugar food sleep

crying alone in my room for a week

drugs sugar rinse repeat

get my text? i’ll get the bleach
Track Name: because caterpillars turn into butterflies (split ends split ends split ends)
i work in laboured metaphors
and i thought we were a caterpillar
i work in deluded hope when i let enough light in
now the mothballs are falling
i could ask myself how i'm doing
well i could feel a lot sadder than i am right now
a lot sadder than i am right now

brand new misery old friend slumber old friend swallow old friend soft and sweet and painful kiss on the cheek
i ask for the things that make me weak
i beg for what won't make me complete
because where's the fun in knowing where to sleep
and where's the one you said you'd keep

where's the coldness of your feet on someone else's feet
i feel a warmth but i feel no heat

am i "just a genius" or am i a fucked up mess
that you can scrape off your shoe and show to your friends and laugh about how you stared at my split ends for hours on end for hours on end
Track Name: white lies (for you)
i just want to close the bathroom door
and radiohead will be playing as I disappear
you'll search the whole room even the corners of the floor
to find that I'm finally not here
for
you

cus we are young
but we're not in love
there are no tangled strings
dangling from above

i kissed your lips
so many times in my head
but I can't kiss the lips
that said what they said

you asked for some coffee
you asked for it black
i made it for you happily
like it was in my almanac

then the next day
we got some milk
and I turned away
and you were pouring some in

and I got lost in my hair
you searched the whole room even the corners of the floor
to find that I was finally not there
for you
for you

cus we are young
but we're not in love
there are no tangled strings
dangling from above

i kissed your lips
so many times in my head
but I can't kiss the lips
that said what they said
Track Name: petty little things/ink poisoning
my best friend's father died
he's so much stronger than me
i swear he's never cried
as much as i did when i saw an abandoned trolley

it's pretty clear i'm not okay
i don't need your words to remind me
i'm sure i'll grow up one day
put all these petty little things behind me

what have i become
under a sky that cries more than i do
what have i done
inside this body that i don't belong to
what could i take i've got a fucking splitting headache and i've written a novel on my smudged up skin and i'm gonna get mother fucking ink poisoning

what could i try because honey i've been longing to die and you've made me realise that i'm more alive by your side

my other best friend's feeling lonely
she's the most warm person i know
i swear she could heat up
the sea with all the lights she gives even when she's feeling so low
Track Name: the last song i'll ever write about you (goodbye)
i've always been there for
you could have said anything
and i'd have still been listening
and i'll always be there for

i've been here before
i've sat for hours by your bed
wondering what was in your head
i've taken all of my meds
i just wanted to take you instead
on my bedroom floor.

not anymore
i'll help myself
i'll be the picture of good health
i won't rely on anyone else

i've always been there for you
but now i don't want to
i don't want to

but i loved you i loved you i really loved you
i loved i loved i loved you

you.