lobey heart

by lonely carp

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released December 2, 2014



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lonely carp Coventry, UK

silly english boy likes to play the piano

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Track Name: maurice
look at what you've done to me
in my sleep
Morpheus came and made friends with me
He brought all the Ancient Greeks

I am a dove by name
But names are deceitful
You took me home and I cried and I cried and I never was peaceful
Don't worry mum I know you did your best
To extract the worry worry worries
Out of my chest
I carried on crying til I left
And now i'm crying again
I'm still the same little boy curled up in bed
I've just got longer hair
And a wrinkle or two here and there
And dozens of reasons to care

In my room there is a mess
In my room there is the biggest fucking mess and nothing less
Sometimes in my room there's another mess
But it's mostly just one mess
One mess
One mess
One mess in the mess
Track Name: cold turkey
it's fine
it's only once a night
he's only worth
three bottles of my time
he must be JEEEESSSUUUSS CHRIST ALMIGHTY drinking water made of wine

everything's going to be fine.
you'll go to university and turn out fine!
and everything is just FINE
him in his bed
and me in
your sister's

we sat in the dark on christmas night
nobody thought to turn on the light
because nobody could stand
for anybody else
to see them

the turkey got cold
and the mirror was placed so the old saw the old
and silence outside crept in slowly
i kicked and i screamed in my dreams that night
as a sleigh full of memories flew out of sight

drink a lot less coffee
drink a lot less coffee
maybe then you'll get more sleep
drink a lot less coffee
drink a lot less coffee
just be a bit more easy
maybe then you'll get to sleep
to the sounds of your own tiny world breaking
or the sounds
of your own tiny hands shaking
(but they're not so tiny anymore)


and hey,
you may never get yours

but at least you'll never be bored.
Track Name: if i told you you'd have to kill me
you said what happened with the one you told me about
it's been so long since i saw you out
i said it's been too long since i saw you last
nothing happened
it all didn't happen so fast

all the things i've ever hoped for
have been shrouded in doubt
but things will work out well for me well
things will work out

you said

i'm young and i have my friends
i'm young and i have my friends

i need glasses but at least i can see
what if my friends die
then where will i be

at a bus stop waiting to become elderly

yeah i took them for about a year
and the sex was bad just like it's always been
like fucking half asleep
like fucking half asleep

but if bad sex is the price of feeling alright then i don't mind i don't mind i don't mind

things will set themselves right
well they might
Track Name: dnuor yaw gnorw eht
funny, space seems to flow
between us all at the speed of sound

money makes the world go

the wrong way round

sat on a train to go to oxford

next to a man from azerbaijan

who seemed to know the tiredness of my legs

from not being able to stand

the time alone

used to see people as judges

gavel travel down

but i see now

i had it

the wrong way round

i wear my socks inside out

turned my t shirt inside out

my skin’s turned inside out

my insides have nearly fallen out

cus i had it

by force of habit

the wrong way round
Track Name: december 1st
dirty duvet
filled with dirty stains
retrospectively echo
in my brain
from all the times we’ve done this it’s been 4 times just today
(i’ll probably come back tomorrow to do this again)

under a dirty duvet
under a cloud of perfume
under a paper thin ceiling
under a roof without drainage
under a sky
under a sky that cries more than i do

all the zeros and exes show how sex is
all my zeros and my exes show how separate sex is
from me
i mean
i just want to please
i just want to please
please please please
i just want to please
Track Name: S.W.I.M.
S.W.I.M. fishy swims all the way to the shore

S.W.I.M. fishy swims behind his locked door

all of his friends have gone out fishing

and he’s left inside with the guilt and the wishing to

make something right

pants are too tight

take them off and turn on the light

spoon spoony spoon spoony spoon spoon spoon

spoon spoony spoon spoony spoon spoon spoon me

i wanna spoon you and get your hair in my teeth

Track Name: it was a toy she bought from forbidden planet
i don't give a fuck
when i think about it all i've ever had is luck
Track Name: we're! enjoying! life! (the nosebleeds are worth it) feat. the unanticipated comeback of "Ich Hasse Schule"
sat right up high against my wall
the light switch right beside me
it's okay lovely we don't have to speak
just drawing drawings of heads of me
each with price tags that showed what each was worth
there were three
they were art in a gallery
and the one titled 'misery'
was free
what does that mean miss sweet
it means misery loves company

a really bad german song we wrote in school
it went something like this:

Ich bin am der Schule
Ich bin langweilig gefüle
Ich finde matte schweirig
und englisch ich müde machen.
Ich Hasse Schule, Schule!
Ich findet es stink langweilig
Ich werde gehe ein tag.
Auf weidersehen Schule!
Hallo zu alles ausser Schule,
Ich werde gehe ein tag,
Ich werde gehe ein tag.

i've got to STOP SUSSING the world out from within
i've got to get out without wanting back in
but with you i've always felt i fit in
like a jigsaw or something less cliche
like a mattress that has a ditch in the springs
so that when we share the bed one of us falls into it
i guess that's kind of like it

and we're just enjoying life
the nosebleeds are worth it
keep coming round to my house
i've always needed you
and i think you've needed me too.
Track Name: lonely carp and the mystery of the missing plane ticket
in a hug
it's enough
i don't want too much

a kiss
a kiss
on the lips
on the lips
a kiss
a kiss
on the lips
on the lips
is that what you remember of this this this this evening
this christmas this this this evening
i called you on your vintage telephone
and the snow
wasn't falling
'cause i live in Coventry
in the United Kingdom
the weather's really weird here
the weather's really weird here
so don't come near

you flew like a bird
so fast and unafraid
even when you lost your plane ticket
at sovrano's cafe
you just thought fuck it i'll just keep this picture of you i've got on a penguin USB stick you lent to me

now you're gone
i can't move on
'cause we're still in this together
even through christmas
and the non-snowy weather

should old acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind
should old acquaintance be forgot
for the sake of auld lang syne
we'll take a cup of kindness yet
for the sake of auld lang syne
for all the ones who can't be here
sharing midnight kisses
on new year's eve